Eccl 11:9-12:8  Ps 90.  Lk 9:43b-45

Deacon Jim McFadden

During the ‘60s, folk-singer Jim Croce, who unfortunately died a premature death in a plane crash, sang a song, Time in a Bottle, in which he intoned, “I’ve looked around enough to know that you are the one I want to journey through time with.”  Though I was unchurched growing up—my mother and father had some very unresolved issues with the Catholic Church—so, though I was baptized, we never went to Mass and I was never catechized.  I did, however, have a yearning for some kind of spiritual connection; so, I gravitated towards biblical films popular during that era.  Films such as The Robe, The Ten Commandments,  Ben Hur, A Man Called Peter, The Greatest Story Ever Told presented God and Jesus in a very intriguing way, and I gradually developed a hunger to know Him at a personal level.  I really wanted to “journey through time” with Him, but didn’t know how to connect with him.

            As a junior at Abraham Lincoln High School in San Francisco, I came to know an Irish Catholic family who were really into their faith: they said an evening rosary (in Latin no less!), attended daily Mass, and strove to live a life of discipleship.  Their religiously observant life was mysterious and beguiling.  I felt myself gradually being drawn to the Catholic Church.  A couple things intrigued me: I was struck by priestly celibacy.  The priests I was starting to observe, know, and interact with were not frustrated bachelors, but very strong men full of joy and purpose.  I asked myself, how could they give up so much—marriage and family—and be joyful.  What is going on?

            Another aspect that intrigued me was the tabernacle light in the sanctuary.

Though I wasn’t fully  Catholic, every time I’d venture into a Catholic Church, gazing on the tabernacle I sensed a presence, which I never experienced in  a Protestant church.  I didn’t know anything about the Blessed Sacrament, the Real Presence, but I felt something (or Someone) pulling me in.   

            My curiosity towards the Church culminated in decision-time.  Just as the book of Ecclesiastes intones, “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every thing under the heavens…There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak” (Eccl. 3:1,7b).  Assisted by the example of the Catholic family, my time to become Catholic had come.  It was decision time:   I decided to become fully initiated into the Catholic faith.  When I moved in this direction, “my heart (became) glad in the days of (my) youth” (Eccl 11:9).

            So, I spoke to my parents but they weren’t happy with my choice.  The day I was be Confirmed and receive my First Communion, we had a donnybrook of a family fight as tears, angry words, and recriminations reverberated throughout the house.  I remember saying to my folks, “Mom and Dad, I love you; but, I adore Jesus and I want to be Confirmed.  The Catholic Church feels like my spiritual home.”

 How did I come to this conviction?  I was stuck in a crossroads when I came to terms with Jesus’ question that we heard in the  gospel  according to Luke: :’“But who do you say that I am?”  (Lk 9:20).  Deep in my soul I concurred with Peter: “You are the Messiah of God.”  Given that reality, I was “astonished by the majesty of God” (Lk 9:43a) as revealed in Jesus, and the only good option was to willingly and completely  surrender my heart and soul to Jesus.  There is no middle ground: once I accepted Him as the Son of God, the Word made flesh, he became the Center of my life.

So, I left the house and walked alone to St. Thomas More church near Lake Merced where I received the Sacraments without my parents blessings.  Soon after I came across a reference from Matthew’s Gospel in which Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…” (10:37). I knew exactly what he meant.

So, this is my conversion story and we’re blessed to hear the conversion of our guest speaker John Edwards who made the transition from addict to evangelist.  I hope our stories will help to illuminate your sacred story because metanoia (conversion and repentance) is part of the journey of becoming a missionary disciple of our Lord Jesus.  Jesus is Lord and He calls us to intimacy, to staying with him: that is what conversion and discipleship is all about.  Amen.